Family Picture!!! Sunday, November 23, 2008
It's not about me. YOU always have and always will be ETERNALLY FAITHFUL!!!
This morning, the message was soo great. I can't wait til the sermon is posted online to listen to it again. (link for Crossroads is on the page, you can listen too) Anyway, it was a hugely great wake up call saying, this whole life thing, this whole Christian thing- it has NOTHING to do with you. Our hearts are more deceitful than we can comprehend. We are all one decision away from throwing it all away... we will fail. I will fail. This is hard to accept. But it is an amazing paradox, knowing that God has entered into a covenant with us and He will not only hold up His end of the deal but mine too, when I can't. He LOVES me. God's faithful, unconditional love is self-sacrificing. And like yes, I know that Jesus died for me and that He loves me and that He is not like there but really truly, completely unselfishly loves. I cannot love like this, only through Him could I dream to begin loving like this. Anyway, this paradox- basically it is comforting to know that this life that I am trying to live has absolutely nothing to do with me, because He has paid it all and it is ALL ABOUT HIM. This from our typical perspective says, this hurt my ego, it means I am unimportant, and about a million other crazy thoughts like that... but when it is not about me, I don't have to be worth it or earn His favor, or be popular or pretty or have a job or be dating or be perfect- the pressure is not there, and I can rest secure in my Saviour knowing that I am loved and I can strive to be the best through His strength and love with His love, because I am loved. Not to earn any merit or work my way into heaven or on the "nice list" - yesterday I watched Santa Claus 3 with Brenda, Rosie, and Vannah, so that is totally the analogy in my mind-
Lately, I have not felt worth what i should be. I have never struggled with this before, I guess I should have known it was coming at some point, but today has been a huge lesson :)
I want to reconcile with Christ. I have been running, maybe not completely to my knowledge, but I have been running from the Word. Why? because it's boring, no, because I like to get caught up in me and say i'm busy, probably because I am scared of the change if i completely -surrender- This past summer I spent more time than ever before in the Word and learned of its priceless value. I want to view it as a constant need once again. I will keep things posted on how I am doing at spending, and waiting expectantly to spend time with Christ reading the Holy HOLY WORD OF GOD.
hmm well guess I should go read, stop blabbin. And get to sleep. So happy to sleep tonight!!!
and soo stinkin excited to go home in 2 days for Thanksgiving break. I haven't seen Mark in for-stinkin-ever! and it will be good to see Erica, Natalie (the rest of the Grace crew), and friends that are still in YG too! hmm venting on here is good, i like it. Goodnight world.
Lately, I have not felt worth what i should be. I have never struggled with this before, I guess I should have known it was coming at some point, but today has been a huge lesson :)
I want to reconcile with Christ. I have been running, maybe not completely to my knowledge, but I have been running from the Word. Why? because it's boring, no, because I like to get caught up in me and say i'm busy, probably because I am scared of the change if i completely -surrender- This past summer I spent more time than ever before in the Word and learned of its priceless value. I want to view it as a constant need once again. I will keep things posted on how I am doing at spending, and waiting expectantly to spend time with Christ reading the Holy HOLY WORD OF GOD.
hmm well guess I should go read, stop blabbin. And get to sleep. So happy to sleep tonight!!!
and soo stinkin excited to go home in 2 days for Thanksgiving break. I haven't seen Mark in for-stinkin-ever! and it will be good to see Erica, Natalie (the rest of the Grace crew), and friends that are still in YG too! hmm venting on here is good, i like it. Goodnight world.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Praise the Lord for a new day!
I am just so thankful for today! Tuesday night I stayed up late having a couple very needed conversations. Wednesday was just a downer for me... I was thinking about hard things have gone on back home and about how much the people closest to me have been hurt so much in the recent past... also, just being single has never been something I struggled not being content with, but this semester all of my best friends are in serious relationships and everything is very different and that has been super difficult for me. Anyway, by the time I was done with classes (getting a bad test back in accounting, and taking an exam in fine arts), I was at a point of breaking. I went back to my room, grabbed a notebook and my Bible and went to retreat to break down. I read, prayed, journalled, cried a bit & well it helped a little bit. I went and visited Court and Beth after this, which was nice to just lighten up and dream bout our future apartment together :) The day really started to turn around with tutoring though, the kids just display such pure love! Also, I went to watch Chuck do "Joe the Homosexual" which was super interesting and a great experience I think.
Anyway....on to a NEW DAY! Today has been great. I am just so much more peaceful and emotionally together. There are a million things going on and due and that I need to be working on and studying ect but it will be ok. I am so thankful for sleep and for the Lord's strength to face a new day and have a new perspective within such a short time.
then tonight was meet a need, just four of us went down to partner with the grand valley people... and man, I take so much forgranted, those homeless or struggling individuals that we are able to interact with work so hard to just get by and stay warm. I sit in my warm room, eat the cafeteria food (while profusely complaining!), and often don't find the joy in life that I should. I want to learn to be thankful. Rid myself of this American shell & take each blessing as a true blessing!
Oh and aparently I am going to marry a guy named John. -we may be moving to CA in my station wagon- There is a guy downtown who basically every time I talk to him either sets me up with someone or about how I will be a good wife someday haha. This week I was set up with a GVSU guy named John, who I had never met before, good times. Gotta love downtown!
Anyway....on to a NEW DAY! Today has been great. I am just so much more peaceful and emotionally together. There are a million things going on and due and that I need to be working on and studying ect but it will be ok. I am so thankful for sleep and for the Lord's strength to face a new day and have a new perspective within such a short time.
then tonight was meet a need, just four of us went down to partner with the grand valley people... and man, I take so much forgranted, those homeless or struggling individuals that we are able to interact with work so hard to just get by and stay warm. I sit in my warm room, eat the cafeteria food (while profusely complaining!), and often don't find the joy in life that I should. I want to learn to be thankful. Rid myself of this American shell & take each blessing as a true blessing!
Oh and aparently I am going to marry a guy named John. -we may be moving to CA in my station wagon- There is a guy downtown who basically every time I talk to him either sets me up with someone or about how I will be a good wife someday haha. This week I was set up with a GVSU guy named John, who I had never met before, good times. Gotta love downtown!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
If you were a junky?
I'm purdy sure that if I could choose anything to be completely obsessed with, it would be kayaking! It is just beautiful and can be as relaxing or as thrill-seeking as you desire!!! You are out in nature, on the water, it's kinda like backpacking without carrying everything or working nearly as hard at it hahaha. I am looking at some incredibly intense videos, I'll post them but man, what a rush, I seek those adrenaline rushes so much sometimes!!! There is so much corrupted, unhealthy entertainment in this world, being in nature is the best entertainment, art... and purest ways for me to enjoy life.
Ice on the pond!
YAY this is a momentous day, there was a thin layer of ice on the pond this morning. This means that the cold is here & I can only hope that ice skating season is just around the corner!!! I definately here some hockey calling my name. (or maybe it's just Sarah yelling it at me from Wisconsin) Anyway, makes a rough day a little better to think about.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
busy mind
so many thoughts have run through my head today and i've been going strong but getting nothing done!
I got to sleep in a bit, enjoy some of the book of Daniel, I got to a part today that always blows me away, the other satraps could find no corruption in him, it says he was "neither corrupt nor negligent" basically, he was faithful in all he did and he did it all ridiculously well. This time reading through the book I guess some of things seem more miraculous than I had given them former credit for..like the fact that Daniel was revealed the king's dream through a vision, crazy! and just the whole thing of the fiery furnace, the fire was so engulfing and hot and the men who threw in the 3 guys died, yet they not only survived but were walking around and when they came out didnt' even SMELL like smoke. and I think it's comical that there was a 4th man that "looked like a God", like our God not only meets us in our need but is really really there. After this miracle, of course people would have emotions worked up or w/e but it's still insane the way that the king reacts, he goes from killing people who won't worship his statue to worshipping the One True God and demands that everyone else does as well!!!
back to my day... I needed to go to court to observe for Business Law, so I went out to the parking lot to leave, the weather is GORGEOUS! sunny sky, cool air, just was like empowering. so I go over to my car, which the windshield is frozen/dusted over and well I don't have a scraper yet, soo I first used my coat, not working, but then I pulled around so the sun was on it and let me tell you, a rubber flipflop works GREAT!... so I went and missed the first set of cases and was told to come back 2 hours later, so I was not going to drive all the way back, so I went to Alpine and well lets just say that none of the internet was workin for me, so I needed to drive back to get a World Civ letter turned in on time, since I was skipping class to go to court (that sounds so funny!) so I went. Yup, got roughed around by a scary lady police officer, sat, waited and listen to a lot of different cases, very interesting but just one of those places your nerves are kinda on end the whole time.
Well I need to go, Michelle is waiting on me, sorry Michelle :).
I'm so excited, it's THANKSGIVING DINNER tonight!!! BEST meal at Cornerstone!
I got to sleep in a bit, enjoy some of the book of Daniel, I got to a part today that always blows me away, the other satraps could find no corruption in him, it says he was "neither corrupt nor negligent" basically, he was faithful in all he did and he did it all ridiculously well. This time reading through the book I guess some of things seem more miraculous than I had given them former credit for..like the fact that Daniel was revealed the king's dream through a vision, crazy! and just the whole thing of the fiery furnace, the fire was so engulfing and hot and the men who threw in the 3 guys died, yet they not only survived but were walking around and when they came out didnt' even SMELL like smoke. and I think it's comical that there was a 4th man that "looked like a God", like our God not only meets us in our need but is really really there. After this miracle, of course people would have emotions worked up or w/e but it's still insane the way that the king reacts, he goes from killing people who won't worship his statue to worshipping the One True God and demands that everyone else does as well!!!
back to my day... I needed to go to court to observe for Business Law, so I went out to the parking lot to leave, the weather is GORGEOUS! sunny sky, cool air, just was like empowering. so I go over to my car, which the windshield is frozen/dusted over and well I don't have a scraper yet, soo I first used my coat, not working, but then I pulled around so the sun was on it and let me tell you, a rubber flipflop works GREAT!... so I went and missed the first set of cases and was told to come back 2 hours later, so I was not going to drive all the way back, so I went to Alpine and well lets just say that none of the internet was workin for me, so I needed to drive back to get a World Civ letter turned in on time, since I was skipping class to go to court (that sounds so funny!) so I went. Yup, got roughed around by a scary lady police officer, sat, waited and listen to a lot of different cases, very interesting but just one of those places your nerves are kinda on end the whole time.
Well I need to go, Michelle is waiting on me, sorry Michelle :).
I'm so excited, it's THANKSGIVING DINNER tonight!!! BEST meal at Cornerstone!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Initial thoughts
Well, I've thought about it for a while now, I have a blog. Is this conforming or will it be helpful? Will I be ok with being completely honest if i know there is a chance of someone reading this?Anyway, when I was thinking about naming this blog, many things went through my mind. I thought about Romans 12 and thoughts about love, forsaking the way of the world, continually serving with zeal...I thought about Psalm 24- the earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world and all who live in it. Man if I could just live out these nice little thoughts... the beginning of Roman's 12 -do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world- I really believe that "pattern" is singular because it all comes down to that the way of this world is thinking about self. Love is not thinking about self. I can't even comprehend being completely selfless for even a minute of my life.
Well I'm having trouble concentrating, I'm hanging out with my Pickett girls... actually telling first kiss stories, wow I don't have girl talk like this very often, so funny!
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